blood money

For the past couple of weeks I've been donating my plasma. Well, I don't know if I should call it donating because I get paid for it...Anyway, I've attempted to "donate" three times now and none have been successful.

Trip #1:
I'm sitting with my nurse, Rick, going over all of the possible things that could happen to me. After each one I jokingly say "that'll happen to me." Rick laughs. I go into the room and they hook me up to the machine. Worst part over. The way the process works is that they pump out a certian amount of your blood, spin it around to separate the plasma from the red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets, pump the plasma into a little baggy, then give the rbc, wbc and platelets back to you. They do this through about eight cycles. I had gotten to my fifth cycle when all of a sudden my arm (the one with the big honking needle in it) started to get really sore. Then I got nauseous. I called my helper Cassie to come over because I thought I was going to faint. I wasn't scared. I knew exactly what was happening, but as I looked at Cassie my vision got darker and my hearing became muted. I remember Cassie asking me a question and start fanning me with my chart then...I was flying. The person I was flying with asked me "can you hear me? Can you hear me?" "Yes," I said. Then I startled awake and there were three or four people standing around me. "Woah," I said. Then I got uncomfortably warm and my hearing and vision returned to normal. Then Rick walked in shaking his head. "I told you," I said to him. "Yes. You called it."
It turns out I was only out for about 2 seconds, but it felt much longer to me. Then I had to eat my second pack of the cracker sandwiches with the cheese in the center and I drank about a gallon of water. Everything was fine and I laughed on the way out. Mainly because it wasn't like I had a room to myself. No, there were literally 8 people across from me and a person on each side of me. It was not subtle. Everyone saw. I thought it was funny. I was paid $30.

Trip #2:
After trip #1 Rick suggested that we try the left arm to see if it's not directly over the nerve that caused me to black out. The problem this time was that they couldn't find the vein in my left arm! I had about three different women feeling up my arm and none of them could find it. So, my girl Cassie decided to go to my right arm...again. So, she's putting the needle in and it hurt really bad. Then I hear "uh oh." That happens to be the worst thing to hear in a medical office. She had scraped the side of my vein and caused it to bleed leaving a hematoma. "Well, good news is you're done for the day," she told me. I was paid $20.

Trip #3 (yesterday):
After my last trip I asked my mom (a nurse) if there was anything I could do to make the vein in my left arm bigger. "Put some heat on it." So I did. I decided to put my washcloth in the microwave to warm it up. It would have worked if I would have remembered to wet it down first. I think I opened the door right before it caught on fire. It was smokin'. I used it anyway...then tossed it. I got to the plasma place, did the usual prick of the finger thing then chose a left handed seat/bed. I warned the guy, Mark, that they couldn't find my vein last time. Well, he found it and inserted the needle (no pain). Then he said "hmmm." Another thing I don't like to hear at a medical place. "It's not...going," he said. I sighed. "I'm going to move the needle a little bit to see if I can get it to flow better." I wasn't really likin' the idea so much, but kept my mouth shut. Let me just tell you that yeah, it wasn't comfortable. Mark gave up after several unsuccessful attempts. Then a new girl walked over and tried. "Ouch," I said. Then I looked down at my left arm and saw what was the beginning of another hematoma. She had poked the side of that vein. "I'm going to try the other side," she said. I told her that I still had a bruise on my right arm, but she wanted to do it anyway. I was gritting my teeth the whole time. It hurt. We had to stop. I was paid $30.

Trip #4:
This Tuesday. Expect an update. I will be successful. I will be paid $20.