starbucks - open letter

I think this will be my new thing. I know Todd will try to take credit again, but I give the credit to Jubal @ Kiss 106.1

I'll try to keep them short, sweet and hopefully decent.


Dear Starbucks,

How dare you raise the prices of my favorite legal addictive stimulant? I didn't complain about the raise of candy, soda or alcohol prices. If your prices get any higher I'm going to have to start buying Folgers and that would be seriously tragic. Please rethink your strategy.

Love,
Ariel

last quarter quotations & notations

I'm taking three classes in this final quarter of my college career. They are as follows: Reproductive Ecology, Sex & Gender in Society, and Native Peoples of the Pacific Northwest. So far I've decided that taking two classes that have to do with sex and/or reproduction is overwhelming yet informative.

"...and the Canadians are such slackers. I mean, I don't even know how they're going to replace the current population. You'd think in the winter months they're get busy..."~Reproductive Prof

"I don't know my chromosomes very good." ~Reproductive Prof

Why do people say "eck cedra" instead of "et cetera"?

"Where would the world be without tequila?" ~Native Prof

"It's a fun class except for the times when misery will overcome you." ~Sex & Gender Prof

"...Oh gosh, you know I talk about these things in class and I get these songs in my head...you know...Baby Got Back..." ~S&G Prof

"Women in heat get more meat." ~S&G Prof

"If we could bottle & sell oxytocin it would be a weapon of mass romance." ~S&G Prof

"Anthropology should be practical right?" ~S&G Prof

the music is all around us

If you've never seen this movie, do so. I rediscovered this song in my iPod and decided to share it. Every time I hear it I get chills.
Warning: if you haven't seen the movie yet I wouldn't watch this clip.

celebrities

Guess who came into the store Friday? This guy!

Guess who was cleaning the bathrooms when he left? Me.

I saw him drive by the front windows though and saw the back of his head when he was shopping on the other side of the store.

that's what she said?

Me: "Jeff, you get to be the bad guy today."
Jeff (my manager): "I'm always the bad guy. I root for the bad guys. When I was watching Frosty the Snowman I was rooting for the sun!"

Jacquie (in reaction to a woman breast feeding in a cafe): "I know babies need their lattes too but that's just weird."

Katie: "I get all hot when I hear words like cell metabolism."

Professor: "The healthier you are, the more symmetrical you are."

Me:"That's where my people are from...Wisconsin and Polish."
Katie: "They have good ass hot dogs."

Jacquie: "WE HAVE A DRAGON BOY IN OUR BACK YARD!"

Jacquie: "They're like flaming nunchucks!"

Professor: "I will metaphorically shoot you..."

Professor: "I wrestled a 13 year old male..."

Professor: "If anthro is worth anything, it should provide insights to any situation we're in."

Professor: "I need a lot of private time, not for sex per say..."

Professor: "They believe it also reflects your parent's moods at the time they conceived you-let's hope they were having a good time."

Professor: "Something that kills your labido and for most of us our reason for getting up in the morning..."

Teacher: "I will not talk football. I will talk iceskating or I will talk cookbooks."

Teacher: "When caffine doesn't work eat sugar!"

Teacher: "Cholesterol is a precursor to sex hormones...can you imagine how boring life would be without cholesterol?!"

Teacher: "Hmmm kinky peptide...that's interesting."

Teacher: "I fell asleep with my endocrinology text book last night."

Teacher: "I was playin' poker when I started labor and I wasn't going anywhere because I was winning!"

New words I like:
pertinacious
licentious --> my teacher used this one in class "I don't want to say slutty...so we'll just say licentious."

can you hear me now?

The other day a representative from Verizon called me to ask me a few questions about a recent survey I had filled out for them. In the survey I told them that I was disappointed about the lack of service I get in my house and in many buildings on campus. I also told them I don't like how my free nights and weekends start later than my friends with other carriers. Ironically, when he called he wanted to know where I didn't get service but I couldn't tell him because I didn't have enough bars. He did inform me that I could purchase an extender pack that would allow me to get service in more places. Good idea! I should pay more to be able to use my phone indoors! I mean, the idea that the money I already pay you should allow me to use my phone anywhere is preposterous! Especially after seeing ads like this, I'm not sure how I ever got that idea in my head.

fear

I love the ocean and the water, but two of my biggest fears have to do with it. I have a phobia about aquatic vegetation and tsunamis. After I read an old post that mentioned what I am afraid of I really started to think about it and I am truly terrified of tidal waves, which is totally irrational. Well, maybe not totally. Every year I go camping on the beach where there are tsunami evacuation route signs posted all over the place. Maybe years of reading them has created this anxiety. In fact, I'm fairly certain I've had nightmares about tsunamis. Curious.

hot dogs

Roommate #1: "You don't look so good. Are you tired? Your eyes are red."
Me: "Yeah my eyes are on fire. I don't feel good. I shouldn't have eaten that Polish dog."
Roommate #2: "Wait, are you allergic to hot dogs?!"

christmas party

Every year at the Christmas party I go to we get to see this exact performance:


I am in fact in this video. Where's Waldo?

Well next year I'm going to try to convince my sister to do this number at the party. I think we'd knock 'um dead.

the beyond department

I have a new-ish retail job and it's become an interesting part of my life. I've turned each shift into a game. We, as cashiers, are required to ask many annoying questions to each customer. Here's my schpiel: "Hi there! Did you find everything ok today? Can I tempt you into purchasing a Poach Pod or a cookie dough scoop today? You don't know what a Poach Pod is? Well let me demonstrate. You set the pods in your shallow pan of water on the stove and crack your eggs in there and poach them like you would regularly and when you're done you just throw them in the top rack of the dishwasher. And these cookie dough scoops are cool too! They have a nice sharp edge that helps you get through the raisins and the oatmeal and then you just push the back and they pop right out onto your tray! Do you need any gift cards or gift receipts today? And is any of this from our bridal registry? Ok have a great day!"
Wow I'm exhausted. But recently I decided to make it into a joke. I try to sound as much like an infomercial as possible and the customers love it. I'm actually starting not to hate it so much. It's the nice customers that make it worth while. For example: today one lady asked me which laptop tray I liked better and I convinced her to buy the more expensive one (not on purpose) and she said "My you are a good sales-woman!" Then later I helped her figure out that she would save more by using a 20% off coupon than by using a $5 off coupon and she said "Wow, not only are you a good sales woman, but you're funny and smart too!"
It's the nice ones that make it not so dreadful.